Well let me tell you a story ’bout a man named Ed. He was a WVU Mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. And then one day he doesn’t feel like building his life story into a Beverly Hillbillies theme any longer, likes computers, guitars, books, film, video games, and metal. And that is all that you need to know unless you are on his Facebook, or are offering a big pile of money and a job where all he has to do is see how far back the chair will tip.

Note: I do not normally wear pig tails. Normally it is a skullet.