Well let me tell you a story 'bout a man named Ed. He was a WVU Mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. And then one day he doesn't feel like building his life story into a Beverly Hillbillies theme any longer, likes computers, guitars, books, film, video games, and metal. And that is all that you need to know unless you are on his Facebook, or are offering a big pile of money and a job where all he has to do is see how far back the chair will tip.
Note for potential employers: I do not normally maintain the dualing pigtails and neckbeard, and will only show up to work looking as such if you so desire.